Trying To Be Strong

I've been trough a lot of hard times this past few weeks. And when I say a lot, it is, really. Which is the reason why I stopped blogging.

1.) Me, my research groupmates, and the research itself.

     Actually, hindi naman talaga kami nauubusan ng problema pagdating sa research. Kakaibang lungkot lang naramdaman namin nung araw na dumating sa point na kailangan namin gumawa ng letter na aware kami na kapag hindi namin natapos ang research, wala na kaming karapatang mabuhay (sarcastically speaking of-course pero ganun na din yun). Isama mo pa yung hirap naming magpabalik-balik sa East Ave at Tondo Med para lang sa research dissemination. Traffic na, mainit pa araw. Mainit na nga araw, mainit pa mga ulo ng tao. 

2.) My BB was snatched again and I got bruises all over my legs and arm.

     Kukunin na nga phone ko binigyan pa ako ng remembrance - madaming pasa na malalaki at sobrang itim. Kaladkarin ka ba naman e. Akala tuloy ng mga makakakita binugbog ako.

3.) Suicide precaution

     A day after ko maholdap, isang malakaing balita ang sinabi sakin - na wala na akong karapatang mabuhay (sarcastically speaking again). After 3 years, dun nalang ulit ako umiyak ng ganon. Hagulgol kung hagulgol. Lalo pa akong humagulgol nung niyakap ako nila Kamil, Jake, at uhmmm hindi ko na maalala kung sino pa mga niyakap ko nung araw na yun. 1 word lang nasa utak ko nung araw na yun: "Gusto ko na mamatay."

Imagine this, In 3 weeks all of that happen to me. I already don't know what kind of coping mechanism I should do just to be okay. I thought I'll be schizophrenic. Thank God I have friends, Thank God I have my parents, and Thank God I have Him (God) to tell me to be strong. Despite all of my problems, I have a lot to be thankful for. :)

Took this while walking along the street.

I truly respect the people who stays strong, even when they have every right to break down.