My Élan Vital

8:45pm

On the phone with my mother...

ME: (crying)
MAMA: (crying) Wag ka na umiyak, mahal (what my parents call me). Mahal na mahal ka namin ng papa mo. Lagi mong tandaan yan.
ME: Mahal na mahal ko din kayo ni papa. Sorry.
MAMA: Tama na, wag mo na isipin yan.
ME: (crying)

I may not have the most patient mom. I may not have the most perfect mom. But I know, I know I have the most loving mom in the world!

Mama, thank you for always giving me strength.

Lord, thank you for giving me my mother. I loved him since the day I was born, and I'll love her all the days of my life.

--------------------

Nagtataka siguro kayo kung bakit kami nag-iiyakan ni mama. Nung nagpost ako sa twitter at tumblr (yung mga naka-italized, sa tumblr ko pinost. yung mga naka-bold at italized, sa twitter ko pinost.) may mga nagtext, nag-DM, at nagchat sa akin agad. Ano daw problema ko, bakit daw ganon post ko, may mga iba naman na inunahan ako at sinabing "Heartbroken ka?". Wala akong sinagot ni isa. Kapag ba umiiyak, lovelife agad? Heartbroken agad? Hindi ba pwedeng naghiwa lang ng sibuyas? Joke. Hindi ko na sasabihin kung ano ang dahilan dahil una, kahit naman sabihin ko dito walang mangyayari; pangalawa, ayoko din talaga sabihin dito dahil masyadong private. Okay na yung ganito atleast nalalabas ko feelings ko. 

Ginagawa ko 'tong blog post na 'to ngayon habang umiiyak. Hagulgol to be exact. Kung consistent kayong nagbabasa sa blog ko, unang-una niyong mapapansin na tagalog ang blog post ko ngayon. Bakit? Gusto kong maramdaman niyo kung gaano ako kalungkot. Gusto kong maramdaman niyo ang nararamdaman ko ngayon. Para sa akin kasi, mas madrama talaga magbasa ng tagalog kesa english. Para sa akin ha. Ewan ko sa inyo. Gusto ko din magkunwari na may kausap ako ngayon sa harap ko at kayo yun na nagbabasa.

Ganito kasi ang nangyari. Tumawag si mama sa akin, nagkamustahan at kwentuhan, pagkatapos may sinabi siya na bigla akong naluha. Hindi siya nagalit, nagmura, or what ha. May nasabi lang siya na simpleng bagay na nakapagpaalala sa akin nung sobrang dinidibdib ko hanggang ngayon kaya umiyak ako at humagulgol. Tinanong niya ako kung bakit, sinabi ko. After ko sabihin, pati na din siya umiyak. Tapos ayan, yan na yung nasa taas. After 5 minutes tumigil na din ako umiyak dahil ayoko na din umiyak si mama. Nagpaalam ako sa phone saka ako humagulgol ulit.

Lahat tayo may mga pagkakamali sa buhay na hindi sinasadya. Yung pagkakamaling hindi mo alam kung bakit nangyari kasi lahat naman ginawa mo. Sa mga ganitong problema, isa lang makakatulong sayo. Si Lord. Siya lang ang pwede mong takbuhan kahit anong oras. Iintindihin ka Niya gaano man kabigat problema mo. Kaya after namin mag-usap ni mama, bigla nalang akong natumba sa sobrang panghihina ko. Nagdasal ako, nagpasalamat dahil kahit ganon hindi Niya pa din ako pinabayaan. Binigyan Niya ako ng magulang na mahal na mahal ako.

Tatapusin ko na pagdadrama ko kasi anong oras na. Pagod na din akong umiyak. Manonood nalang ulit ako ng cartoons para maging okay ulit ako. Kanina din pala nanood ako ng isang cartoon after maglupasay sa sahig. Ang title is "The Secret World of Arrietty".

Posted on my Tumblr account:

Arrietty (Bridgit Mendler), a tiny, but tenacious 14-year-old, lives with her parents (Will Arnett and Amy Poehler) in the recesses of a suburban garden home, unbeknownst to the homeowner and her housekeeper (Carol Burnett). Like all little people, Arrietty (AIR-ee-ett-ee) remains hidden from view, except during occasional covert ventures beyond the floorboards to "borrow" scrap supplies like sugar cubes from her human hosts. But when 12-year-old Shawn (David Henrie), a human boy who comes to stay in the home, discovers his mysterious housemate one evening, a secret friendship blossoms. If discovered, their relationship could drive Arrietty's family from the home and straight into danger. - (C) Disney

An enjoyable and attractive-looking film. I love Arriety's room, and all the BGM's! Another awesome film from Ghibli. :)

100812

"I see the kind of person I want to share my life with eternally. You are everything I prayed for, everything I want, everything I need. World might not understand, but I don’t care."

Allyza ♥

Spirited Away

My newest favorite cartoon! :) This was introduced to me by my friend, Kamil, who has a deep love and addiction for Ghibli cartoons (one is "My Neighbor Totoro"). Photos are screenshots of the film taken while watching it for the second time.

Spirited Away

Surreal Alice in Wonderland-like tale about a lost little girl. It starts with a ten-year-old girl named Chihiro riding along with her family. When they come upon a blocked tunnel, her parents decide to have a look around even though Chihiro finds the place very creepy. When they pass through the tunnel, they discover an abandoned amusement park. As Chihiro's bad vibes continue, her parents discover an empty eatery that smells of fresh food. After her mother and father help themselves to some tasty foods, they turn into giant pigs. Chihiro understandably freaks out. She learns that this very weird place, where all sorts of bizarre gods and monsters reside, is a holiday resort for the supernatural after their exhausting tour of duty in the human world. Soon after befriending a boy named Haku, Chihiro learns the rules of the land: she must work, laziness of any kind is not tolerated, she must take on the new moniker of Sen. If she forgets her real name, she will never be permitted to leave.

Chihiro

Sen (Chihiro) & Haku

Friendship

Sen (Chihiro) & Haku

Love

Before ending this blog, I would like you guys to know the real reason why I love this film...

The Radish Spirit

Isn't he lovely? And sexy?

Hahaha! Kiddin' ;)

Just Like The Old Days

Being happy and making others feel happy is the most divine thing. That's why I really appreciate the goddess of happiness and its wonderful service to others. I'm happy when I'm with my friends. Every moment is filled with ecstasy. So happy to spend first week of the month with them. Friends, coffee, food, stories to laugh with. What more can I ask?  ♥

We Love Vigan

Few weeks ago, I went on a road trip vacation to Vigan. Me, my boyfriend, and three other friends went all the way from Manila to Vigan and back in a span of three days. Our vacation rules were simple – see as much tourist destinations as we can, eat only in local restaurants and of course, enjoy our time together.

It was an out-of-the-blue trip. I can’t exactly remember how but I remember being tagged on twitter about Vigan then boom! Next thing I knew is I’m packing. Packed my things just for an hour I think. Before leaving Manila, we decided to eat our dinner first at Tabsilog, a small tapsihan near my place. We left Manila 9:30pm on a Friday and arrived in Bantay, Ilocos Sur (our friend’s/sponsor’s house) around 5:00am. We were lucky to have “free” accommodation, breakfast, and tour guide c/o our friend Marion Suzette Orlanda. :)

That’s me, Kamil, Glenda, and the very kind Marion Suzette Orlanda a.k.a. Mariz at the bus station.

DAY 1

Due to excitement, we decided not to sleep anymore and wait for breakfast, and took a bath right after. 

First Destination: Bantay Church and Bell Tower

 

Sanctuary of Nuestra Senora de La Caridad, the Queen of Ilocandia.

We climbed the Bantay Bell Tower. It stands on the tallest point in the town, and was used as a watch tower during the Spanish colonial period.

Second Destination: Burnay

We proceeded to the local pottery makers and there we saw how they make beautiful jars out of their bare hands. We decided to make our own too!

You can guess the result!

Third Destination: Chavit Singson’s Baluarte Zoo

I’ve been to zoos and farms like everyone else but I haven’t seen ducks, deers, ostriches, camels, roaming free in a wide enclosure along with humans! So I took photos of exotic birds perched on branches, ducks roaming around lazily (I think I shouted at them and tried to scare them but they didn't), camels loosely tied along the viewing/feeding area, and deers. Then, I spotted some adult ostriches strolling freely in the compound.

What I like about this zoo is the entrance fee. IT'S FREE! Everything is free! Except for the foods and souvenirs of course. You can ride all the horses as much as you want, you can watch the animal show (a show that you will be given a chance to hold all different kinds of snakes, tigers, etc.) as much as you want, etc. Free of charge. They do accept any amount of donation though. Donations are not forced so please, for the love of animals, give any amount! Animals in this zoo as well as the people are very kind. :)

Fourth Destination: Vigan River Cruise 

A river cruise that goes through the history of the town with presentations, cultural shows, and lectures - The Vigan Lovestory! <3

Fifth Destination: The Famous Calle Crisologo

Surrounded by beautiful ancient houses carefully restored and maintained through the years.

Kalesa Ride to Sixth Destination: Hidden Garden

Another FREE entrance in Ilocos Sur! Accepting any amount of donation (not forced). For the love of trees, and birds, and plants, give any amount! :)

Sarimanok

Back to the Fifth Destination: The Famous Calle Crisologo & The Famous Vigan Empanada 

A trip would never be complete without a gustatory adventure! Our friend Mariz took us to the Empanadaan. Vigan empanada is made with rice flour, vegetables, egg, and the equally famous Vigan longganisa, then deep fried until crisp and golden brown. It’s best eaten for merienda while still hot and fresh off the pan, dipped in spicy sukang Ilocos (the town’s special vinegar).

DAY 2
It was blazing hot there, that standing under the heat of the sun for 5 minutes seems torture. But nothing can stop us from our happy-Vigan-vibes.

Seventh Destination: Cabugao Beach

A beach 20 minutes away from Vigan.

Eighth Destination: Vigan Dinner

Another gustatoty adventure! But this time, Ilocos dishes for dinner. We ordered Bagnet, Poqui-poqui, and... (I forgot the name of the other one) for dinner. At Uno Resto. Yum yum yum! :)

Back to the Fifth Destination: The Famous Calle Crisologo & Coffee Break 

After dinner, we decided to have some dose of coffee at Coffee Break, Calle Crisologo. Hours after, I found it hard to contain myself from taking photos. I suggest that you go to Calle Crisologo and the rest of the Heritage Village at night when it's breath-taking!

Here are some photos I took that night:

DAY 3
All we did on on our third and last day, was to sleep and waited for the sun to go down. Our journey continuous after.

Ninth Destination: The Quest For Bibingka

Nothing much of this. We just ate Bibingkang Ilocos and realized that their bibingka is similar to Cassava cake.

Tenth Destination: Caoayan

THE BEST ISAWAN I'VE EVER HAD!!! With the pork isaw (I don't eat pork isaw until they let me taste Caoayan's Pork Isaw. It's different! It's far from Manila's and Mang Raul's Isawan. And no words can describe how delicious it was!) plus the dinuguan sawsawan, Oh good lord! Everything is just... PERFECT!!! I MEAN THAT!!!

Back to the Fifth Destination For The Last Time: The Famous Calle Crisologo

A stroll for some shopping, sightseeing, and photowalk is a pleasant experience before going home. :)

Friends. Love. Adventure. Food. What more can I ask for? :)

090812

"The guy who holds my hand all the time, the guy who likes to hug and talk with me all the time and never get bored, the guy who is more goofy than romantic, the guy who sings to me at random moments (you’re not a good singer but I love it), the guy who throws pillow at me when I’m being crazy, the guy who makes fun of me just to hear me laugh, the guy who ties my hair up like a bun, the guy I can share toothbrush with, the guy who takes the silliest pictures with me, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera..."

Allyza ♥

Shut The Fck Up

Our past actions shaped today. But we are not what we've been. We don’t need to carry around labels or mistakes from yesterday as if they define us. Whatever you've done, it’s over. It doesn’t have to brand you, particularly not if you’re making the conscious choice to do things differently now.

Unleash The Inner Child

Picture taken last August 26, 2012.

5 days straight of enjoyment with someone special and his fam. I had so much fun!

"In my soul, I am still that child who did not care about anything else but the beautiful colors of a rainbow." - Papiha Ghosh 

We take everything so seriously. We lead and plan our lives by shouldering the weight of the world. We let everything be our problem to solve. We sacrifice our time and energy for something. We marry ourselves to yesterday’s past with regrets and wonder, constantly worrying and obsessing about what the future will hold. We torture ourselves when things don’t pan out just right. 

Of course, becoming an adult in the first place is a complex transformation. There is an invisible threshold society expects us all to pass - perhaps after college, or after a pivotal moment in one’s young life. It means we have to live up to expectations of the external, constantly be in the motion to do the right things, to never fail, to always be responsible. 

And during this crossover, the child within us is tucked away inside, forever hidden in the shadows of a grown-up. We lose the memory of that it’s like to believe we can conquer the world, to dream the impossible, and to live in that spirited feeling of complete freedom. 

Do you even remember what it’s like to feel the grass under your feet, to gawk at a colorful rainbow in full amazement, or play in the rain? 

There is an unspoken expectation that once you have “grown up”, all things child-like dissipates with that transformation forever. What we haven’t realized is that a lot of the coping mechanisms we need as adults to navigate any stressful moments are innately learned in childhood – from birth and throughout our youth.

09/30/12: Meet Mini Haninu

I got one of the "five spokescandies" (1995). BLUE “the cool one”, mascot for almond M&M’s. And I shall name him Mini Haninu. Hihihi :>

Long Weekend

I went home to my beloved province last August 19, 2012 to prepare for a house blessing. The house blessing was held August 21, 2012 in Baguio City but since I had nothing to do for the whole weekend, I decided to go to my province first before heading to Baguio.

Packing clothes is REALLY HARD for me because I'm always having a hard time choosing on what clothes and how many amount of clothes will I bring. As I always say, PATIENCE IS NEVER MY VIRTUE. I always wish I had Hermione Granger's bag or Doraemon's pocket or maybe wish I could just take my whole wardrobe with me.

Long weekend started with a 9-hour-trip to Tuguegarao, Cagayan (my beloved province). I always knew that a 9-hour-trip is really boring when you're alone. But the thought of "being home" itself gets me there - just imagine a life when all you have to do is wake up in a beautiful smell of kitchen food cooked specially for you and eat whatever you want, an ambiance full of greenness and away from pollution, a place with no stress at all - no bills to pay, no everyday dilemma of what to cook, etc. (independent life in Manila if you know what I mean); a house with 5 Pomeranian dogs that are always excited to play everywhere inside the house with you. Plus the thought of being with my parents and high school friends gets me there. But this time, I never had the chance to see them because I only stayed there for 15 hours or less and that includes sleeping after a long and tiring trip, eating my favorite foods (crabs, shrimps, mom's special pinakbet, inihaw na bangus, dinuguan, papaitan, and many more...), and another packing for the house blessing.

Sliding door, yin yang floor, cozy L-shaped couch, red and brown walls, golden-colored curtains, circular stairs, and a loft. My home sweet home. :) 

Before going any further, I would like you to meet our new dog, our adopted dog, SNOW (see picture below). Snow is a half Pomeranian dog. Mom said she found HER (yes, a girl) in front of our gate weeks ago (pretty, clean and lost) before the typhoon. I named her "Snow" because we found her just like in the story Game of Thrones when they found they're direwolves and the only pure white is Snow, Jon Snow's direwolf. So there... Snow, the new direwolf of House Mendoza. Hihihi :>

Going back to my long weekend. After packing and eating some snacks, dad, mom, and I left Tuguegarao, traveled for 2 hours, and reached Isabela. We loaded the car with sacks of rice and traveled for another 8 hours again. From Isabela to Baguio, the whole Mendoza family (house blessing guests) were in a convoy. When we finally arrived in Baguio, we are all dead. Sleepy as fck. For lunch, we all ate outside and toured them around Baguio.

The House Blessing. Holy water, prayers, and dinner in the house. Nothing extraordinary actually happened because all we really did was just to laugh our lungs out, eat and eat and eat, then laugh again. Of course, I thank my parents for building me a house in Baguio and everything. Words can’t express how happy and thankful I am to have such sweet and thoughtful parents. :)

After dinner is of course alcohol. Brandy for males, and wine for females. Everyone wants to drink except me. I don’t feel well so I chose to sleep. 

The next morning, everyone’s busy packing already. I guess its time to go back to our real lives/busy lives. Others will travel back to Isabela, mom and dad to Tuguegarao, and me to Manila. 

While everyone’s busy eating and packing and laughing, dad eventually became serious. He told us that Jesse Robredo was finally found but sad to say, dead. That news made my dad emotional because dad is close to some politicians and dad knew how goodhearted Jesse Robredo was. 

“Rest in peace, Sir Jesse Robredo.” - dad 

Moving on, I arrived safe in Manila. For my long weekend’s finale, I got to spend it with someone special and had a wonderful dinner too. My body is sooooo heavy and tired but all worth smiling! :)

08/12/12: Happy Birthday Shamie Calumpiano!

Una sa lahat, gusto kong sabihin sayo na… HOY! MISS NA KITA! MAGPAKITA KA KAYA? USO YUN ‘TE! Galit na galit e no? :)) HahahahaHAPPY BIRTHDAY SHAMIETA BEBE!!! I thank God for having a friend like you. Kahit na hindi ka na nagpapakita. :( Namimiss ko na yung nageenglish pag lasing, nakatayo pag naglalaba, bipolar, at bulol. HAHAHA! :p Anyway, wishing you all the good in life – family, friends, lovelife (Ehem! ♥) each and everyday. Happy Birthday again Shamieta! Haylabyuuu! >:D<

08/10-11/12: Happy Birthday Judith Susha Trinidad and Coreen Dianne Basa!

I’ve decided to make a combined birthday message for both of you since you guys have known me equally. We three hanged out a lot lately and laughed hard. And I want you to both know that it’s such a special blessing to me that I have found the two of you. So on your special days (August 10 & 11, 2012), I want to wish you both: 1.) A birthday filled with LOVE, LAUGHTER, and the things you both enjoy most, 2.) That this birthday will teach the both of you something new and beautiful, 3.) A birthday that you'll remember forever with a smile. 4.) That such days will keep coming in every single day. My friends, it's time to pop the champagne, make some noise, dish out some food, throw some confetti, and burst some balloons. You guys deserve the best! Cheers to life and have a Happy Happy Birthday! I love you both sooooo much!!! >:D< :*

P.S. We can celebrate in my house if you want. :)

08/02/12: Happy Birthday Jessica Lichauco!

To the CLUMSIEST and LAZIEST person I know, HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! You've survived another year! Kahit never ko naramdaman birthday mo, at kahit never mo kami nilibre kahit piso tuwing birthday mo, masaya ako na nakarating ka pa ng 2012. Even though you’re the clumsiest and laziest, I’m still proud that you’re my friend. Why? Because YOU are my MOST PATIENT FRIEND. A GOOD LISTENER. Pwede na kitang sabitan ng gold medal. Sa dami na ng napagdaanan ko sa buhay, ikaw ang perfect attendance kapag kailangan ko ng kausap sa kahit anong klaseng problema. Kapag kailangan ko ng kaibigan na gusto ko makinig lang, ikaw lagi nanjan. Naalala ko dati tinetext kita na tawagan mo naman ako. Then pag tinawagan mo na ako, iiyak lang ako. Wala akong sasabihin, hindi ko sasabihin bakit, basta iiyak lang ako. Ikaw naman kahit hindi mo alam yung dahilan kung bakit ako umiiyak, papakinggan mo pa din ako hanggang tumigil ako, hanggang maging okay ako. Sorry ngayon lang kita napasalamatan. Ngayon ko lang na-feel e. Jk J) Anyway, ikaw naman. Matanda ka na. Wag ng tatanga-tanga sa babae, okay?! Please lang Jessica Lichauco! Happy Birthday ulit! <3 May this birthday not be your last! 

P.S. Seryoso ako habang ginagawa to! Yop kang ga ka! HAHAHAHAHA! :p

08/02/12: Happy Birthday Ceza Escobia!

Eto nanaman ako, bibigyan nanaman kita ng kahihiyan. Sawa ka na ba? Ako kasi hindi pa. Ganyan kita kamahal. Lahat gagawin ko mapasaya ka lang. Kahit kahihiyan mo pa nakataya. Sweet diba? :”> Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY PARE!!! Gusto kong mag-thank you kay Lord kasi binigyan niya ako ng MATABA, MABAIT, at THOUGHTFUL na KAIBIGAN. Masaya ako kasi sa tagal nating friends, wala akong maalala na nag-away tayo. Tama ba ako? Lagi man tayong nagmumurahan, nagsasampalan, nagkakasakitan, feeling pa din natin lambing yun. Sweet tayo sa isa’t isa e. :”> Masaya din ako kasi kahit hindi tayo laging nagkikita, walang nagbabago sa friendship natin. Kung magkita naman, walang nagbago, parang highschool days pa din. Sana maging happy ang birthday mo. Sabi nga nila, “Smile and enjoy while you still have intact teeth.” Love you pare! Enjoy your day! ♥